The holiday shopping season has unofficially started, with early deals rolling in from many retailers already, including Home Depot’s BOGO deals. As is often the case, issues will arise, and speaking with a live agent (instead of a machine) can make resolving any issues or questions much easier. Here is the best way to get in contact with a customer service representative from Home Depot.

Call 1-800-HOME DEPOT

Home Depot has a straightforward helpline: 1-800-HOME DEPOT (466-3337). They have plenty of options to choose to speak with a specialist in the specific area you need. But if you don’t think your issue fits into any of the categories and you need to speak with a live agent, call 1-800-566-3337 and select the option “0,” then “0” again, then “6,” and finally “2.” This will take you to a general live agent who can help you answer questions about your account—and if they can’t resolve your issue, they will transfer you to the right department. It took me about three minutes to reach someone who was be able to help me, so you’ll need to be patient.

There are other more direct lines you can call if your issue has to do with these categories:

• Online orders: 1-800-430-3376

• Major appliances: 1-800-455-3869

• HomeDepot.com: 1-800-430-3376

• Product Recalls 1-800-638-2772 (SPSC Hotline)

• Purchase Gift Cards 1-800-430-3376

You can see the full directory of numbers here, and you can talk with a live agent seven days a week from 6 a.m. to 2 a.m. ET.

If you have an iPhone, an iPad, a Mac, or even a Vision Pro, it’s time to update it. Apple just dropped new security updates for all four devices: iOS 18.1.1 and iPadOS 18.1.1, macOS 15.1.1, and visionOS 2.1.1. Even older devices that can’t run Apple’s latest iOS 18 and iPadOS 18 software are getting iOS 17.7.2 and iPadOS 17.2.2.

Why the urgency, with so many different security updates dropping at once? Well, the updates all patch two particular security flaws. That might sound like a short list, especially compared to the more than 75 patches included in iOS 18.1 and macOS 15.1. The difference here, however, is these new updates patch security flaws with known exploits. In other words, someone, somewhere, is taking advantage of these security flaws right now

The first flaw, tracked as CVE-2024-44308, is an issue with JavaScriptCore: By processing malicious web content, you potentially allow a bad actor to execute arbitrary code on your device. Essentially, they will be able to run their own code on your iPhone, iPad, Mac, or Vision Pro. Not good.

The second flaw, tracked as CVE-2024-44309, is a WebKit issue, which also is impacted by malicious web content. Rather than leading to arbitrary code execution, however, this malicious web content could result in a cross-site scripting attack, which allows bad actors to run their code within your browser, rather than the device as a whole.

As of the release of these security updates, Apple says the exploits have affected only Intel-based Macs. That means the company is not publicly aware of any exploits affecting its M-series Macs, nor any iPhones, iPads, or Vision Pros. However, since these security updates are available for so many different Apple devices, it suggests that these flaws could be exploited on more than just Intel-based Macs. So if you have an iPhone or iPad that can run iOS 17.7.2 or newer, a Mac that can run macOS Sequoia, or a Vision Pro, you need to update ASAP.

How to update your Apple devices

No matter the Apple device, installing a new update works about the same way. First, open Settings (or System Settings on macOS) then head to General > Software Update. Here, allow the system to look for a new update. When it appears, follow the on-screen instructions to download and install it.

WASHINGTON, Nov. 19, 2024 – Today, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack announced the creation of new programs that will help farmers who grow fruits, vegetables, and nuts overcome market barriers for their products, and help producers access necessary pre-market storage for their crops following severe weather events, including recent hurricanes. Specifically, the new Marketing Assistance for Specialty Crops initiative will provide $2 billion to assist specialty crop growers in maintaining a strong domestic supply and expanding market opportunities for their crops.

BAKU, Azerbaijan, November 19, 2024 – During the 2024 United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29), U.S. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack highlighted four years of progress and historic investments made under the Biden-Harris Administration to position U.S. agriculture and forestry as climate leaders, develop innovative climate solutions and build climate-smart markets to provide new revenue streams for rural communities. Today marks the second-ever day at a COP conference focused on the food and agriculture sectors.

Smart devices, on their own, are nifty, but one-note. You can turn things on or off, adjust volume or brightness, or tell your vacuum where to go. But automations are what make smart homes awesome: you network your devices together, create dependencies, and set up if/this, then/that scenarios to automatically execute tasks. Building these automations always takes a little finesse, but now, Google’s Gemini AI offers to set up automations for you.

When I tested this new feature, I hoped it was for the layman who might be intimidated by the basic automation creation flow. What I found, instead, was a feature intended for advanced users who want to dive into using a new tool called the the script editor (Google’s tool for writing custom automations). Most users won’t have automations that require more than the standard home automation wizard that has always existed, meaning they won’t need to crack open the script editor or get Gemini’s help here—which is great, because the feature doesn’t seem fully baked yet. These features could become useful in the future, as complicated smart home automations become more powerful and necessary, but for now, I found Gemini unable to offer error-free assistance.

Google Home, Gemini, and the script editor

There are three key components to building automations through Google services. First, there’s Google Home. This is a home base for all your smart home devices, the status and settings of your wifi, and best of all, automations. If you want to turn on a lightbulb, you can do that by tapping a button or asking Google Assistant. But if you don’t want to ask, automations will turn the light on based on criteria you set up, like a time of day, activity of another device, or a certain phrase you tell Assistant. You simply have to create an automation in Google Home telling it to do so, and there’s a straightforward setup wizard here to help you do so. Google Home recently added a desktop app, which is still in beta, but you can create automations and control your smart home from your computer, as well.

Gemini, on the other hand, is Google’s large language model and AI chatbot. The company has been integrating Gemini into all sorts of Google functionality, including a chatbot available on iPhone and Android. Right now, it’s most useful as an assistant that opens in the sidebar of most Google apps and can respond to real language questions. It can already do this in Gmail, finding content or tightening up the language you use, and Google Meet, taking meeting notes on your behalf. Theoretically, using Gemini to create automations for users would be a great feature, but it turns out it is actually more complicated to use Gemini than to use the current wizard.

Most Google products, including Sheets and Docs have had a script editor called Apps script for a while, but it’s not used often. It’s a feature targeted mostly for advanced users that allows you to create your own scripts, or paste scripts other people have written to do things your products don’t do out of the box. The new script editor for Google Home is similar. Although it uses a different language (YAML) than Apps script, the purpose is the same: allow advanced users to do more than the automation wizard allows.

How to set up automations in Google Home

The current user flow to build automations in Google Home is straightforward for simple tasks, but any tasks that eclipse what the current Automations wizard will do, could, in theory, require the script editor. (For the record, I’ve been using Google Home prolifically for five years and never once needed to use the script editor for even one of my wacky automation ideas). If you’re not a coder, the script editor in any Google product can be intimidating, so having Gemini handle this for you is a big lift, if it worked. But that wasn’t my experience.

To get Gemini’s help, you’ll need to sign up for services

Now, some notes. This does, in fact, require that you give Google permission to activate Gemini on your phone. I’ve been avoiding this since I activated my new Pixel a few weeks ago, but for the purpose of this article, I decided it was time to dive in. While endlessly useful, Gemini isn’t free in some cases. You’ll also need to join the app’s public preview to access the script editor. This was a few simple steps. Open the Google Home app, go to Settings, and then click on Join Public Preview.

Accessing Gemini is easier on the desktop app

Google calls this assistive lift from Gemini “Help me script.” To be abundantly clear, using the script editor on any day is not for the weak. Its a code language, YAML, is technically easier to write than other code bases like Php, Perl, Ruby, or Javascript. However, if you don’t know YAML, there’s a learning curve, and it is still code. Personally, I’d expect that if you pay for this Gemini assistance, you wouldn’t need to know YAML. That is not the case, I found.

Once you’ve signed up for preview, and Gemini is activated, you can open the script editor on your Google Home app or the web interface.

This was my first time using the web interface, but since there’s copying and pasting involved, I’d suggest using it over the app. Plus, Gemini didn’t want to pop up on the app for me, so all the more reason to use the desktop interface.

Most scripts by Gemini had errors

To start, I asked for help with simple automations that could be done in the wizard: tell me when it’s sunset every day. This automation doesn’t involve any devices, simply an out-of-the-box piece of data that Google already has. (“What time is sunset?”) Gemini spit out the code, and instructed me to copy and paste it into the script editor and validate it, but warned it already had an error. The script editor confirmed this as well, and identified the problematic line of code. A mouseover explained why I was seeing the error so I could correct it.

This happened over and over, where I would ask Gemini to create a script for something relatively easy (“turn on backyard lights when backyard camera detects activity”) and I’d get errors. Sometimes, the script editor could explain them, sometimes it could not. But Gemini, an AI chatbot designed to answer questions from users, had no function to help me solve the problem. Some mild digging on the internet was unhelpful, since each kind of device has different possible commands, and everything I read suggested the commands Gemini wrote should work. Remember, I hadn’t asked Gemini to do anything difficult yet, all the automations I asked for would have been very easy to do in the regular automation panel, without the script editor or Gemini.

If you’re successful with the script editor (I was able to clear some errors with a little help from the tool tips and some research), you save the script, and then it appears in your list of automations. You can turn it on and off at will, and when it is activated, you’ll see it in automation history.

Who is the script editor and “Help Me Script” for?

As I said, I’m an automation enthusiast, and I have a ton of them running. I also code. Despite both of those facts, I maintain that most people won’t need the script editor, but there are some examples where it would make sense. Anything with a double dependency would use the script editor. For instance, if I want a fan to turn on when it’s over 80 degrees, I can do that in Google Home. I can also have the fan turn on if it’s dark out. What I can’t do is require both circumstances, unless I’m using the script editor. Additionally, the script editor would let me set conditionals, like, “if it’s over 80 degrees, turn on the fan, but if it’s under 60, turn on the heater.”

You can hack these situations together using many automations that aren’t connected in Google Home, but the script editor would be a more efficient way to do so in one clean user flow. Unfortunately, to make that happen, you’re still going to need to learn YAML for now, because Gemini’s help isn’t going to do your homework for you: For the most part, and for most people, Gemini just isn’t ready to script your automations for you.

If you’re tuned in to digital culture news at all, it’s been impossible to miss the chatter about Bluesky over the past month. The fledgling social media site—which looks and acts a lot like Twitter did a decade ago, long before Elon Musk bought it and renamed it X—is exploding in popularity, doubling in size over the past two months to around 20 million users.

Suddenly a site you’d probably only heard of if you spend a lot of time thinking about your social media diet is topping the App Store charts and attracting a flood of folks looking to exit X as it has drifted toward promoting toxicity and even disinformation in the lead up to, and aftermath, of the U.S. presidential election.

All of the reasons for the site’s recent boom aside, if you’re a new user, the most important thing to you is probably figuring out how to best use it, from making the migration from X, to learning Bluesky’s quirks, to finding the people you used to follow elsewhere.

But as much as it can feel like Old Twitter, Bluesky has some unique things to offer—chiefly among them a lack of an algorithm that “learns” (or decides) what you’re interested in. That’s where a tool in the independently created Bluesky Directory comes in handy.

Search more than 47,000 Bluesky “starter packs”

Assembled by Mubashar “Mubs” Iqbal, Bluesky Directory is essentially a collection of links to Bluesky tools and utilities from across the internet, from a Chrome extension that helps you find all of your old X followers to links to third-party clients that are more customizable than the official Bluesky app and website.

The most useful part of the directory, for Bluesky newbies at least, will be the searchable index of more than 47,000 “starter packs.” If you haven’t encountered one yet, a starter pack is essentially a list of Bluesky accounts sorted by what unifies the folks behind them. When you open a starter pack—either within the Bluesky app or on the website—you can choose to follow everyone in it with a single tap or click, or scroll down and choose who you want to appear in your feed one by one.

So, for example, if you’re a big movie geek, you might enjoy a starter pack like Filmmakers, which features 20-odd directors (Rian Johnson, Kevin Smith, and Lily Wachowski among them). If you love podcasts, you could check out Women in Podcasting. If you want to keep tabs on everyone who writes for Lifehacker, I’ve created a starter pack for that too.

You can search for starter packs on Bluesky itself, but the experience isn’t great. Bluesky Directory’s searchable index is a lot more user-friendly. You just type a few relevant terms into the search bar, and you’ll be served up any starter packs that match (the site is slightly sluggish—which is to be expected with a million new users coming online every day—but not unusably so).

You’ll be able to see a description, the number of accounts on the list, and even a preview of a few of them, right from the results page.

There’s a starter pack for (almost) everything

You can browse a list of the most popular starter packs, but if you want a truly bespoke social media experience, it pays to do a granular search. As of this writing, the index includes 47,450 different options, with more being added every minute. (If you’ve created a starter pack you’d like added to the database, there’s a link to submit one right there on the search page). And chances are good if you’re interested in a topic, there’s a starter pack for it.

Perhaps you want to follow authors who like to post about their cats? Or maybe academics with learned opinions about pizza? COVID-conscious porn performers? I was disappointed there were no results for a search for “Ninja Turtles,” but it’s early days yet; on the other hand, I found lists of journalists who write for some of my favorite publications, as well as people who’ve guested on my favorite movie podcast.

Once you find a feed you like, click on the name and you’ll be taken to Bluesky, where you can choose who on the list you want to follow (or follow everyone). You can also toggle over to the “Posts” tab to see recent posts from everyone in the starter pack.

Before you know it, you’ll have a hyper-specific list of Bluesky follows attuned to your particular interests—which seems, to me, a lot better than having an algorithm throwing rage-bait at your face every time you open the app.

Back in 2016, Apple decided it was time to dump the headphone jack. That year, the iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus shipped without the 3.5mm port that was standard on virtually all consumer devices at that point. The company claimed it took “courage” to remove the headphone jack from such a major product line, but, as it happened, the decision coincided with the introduction of AirPods, Apple’s wireless earbuds. What better way to sell $159 headphones than to remove the port that you’d plug your existing headphones into?

Of course, Apple didn’t leave wired headphones user totally in the dust. The company also released its standard wired earbuds with a Lightning connector at the bottom, rather than a 3.5mm jack. For users who preferred their own wired earbuds or headphones to Apple’s, the company had another solution: the Lightning to 3.5mm adapter. Plug the adapter into your iPhone, and presto! The 3.5mm port is back. You just couldn’t charge your iPhone while listening to music anymore. Courage.

Many mocked Apple for all these odd decisions, but as is so often the case in tech, the rest of the industry followed suit. These days, it’s exceedingly difficult to find a new smartphone with the headphone jack. In fact, Apple has dropped the jack from its iPad lineup, as well. Many of us have moved on to wireless, while the rest of us begrudgingly deal with adapters.

Apple appears to be doing away with the Lightning to 3.5mm adapter

Those adapters, however, appear to be in jeopardy—at least, that’s what the tech headlines suggest. It seems that Apple is selling out of its Lightning to 3.5mm headphone jack adapter. When you visit its store page, it’s completely sold out for delivery, and unavailable for Apple Store Pickup just about everywhere. It’s not just this adapter, either: MacRumors reports that other Lightning adapters, like the Lightning to VGA adapter, are also disappearing. However, the USB-C to 3.5mm headphone jack adapter is widely available.

Like the transition away from the built-in headphone port, this move might seem like Apple is trying to get you to upgrade, one way or another. Perhaps it might feel like the company is forcing you to finally adopt wireless headphones, or to upgrade your iPhone altogether. But here’s the deal: If your current iPhone is still working fine, there’s no reason to upgrade anything at all. In fact, if you need a new adapter, you have options, even if Apple isn’t playing ball anymore.

The reality is, Apple isn’t making new iPhones with the Lightning port. Starting with the iPhone 15, the company made the switch to USB-C, which means it’s going to prioritize accessories for the new devices with that port, rather than existing devices with the old port. Fair enough. That said, the company still sells iPhones with the Lightning port in its stores: the iPhone 14 and the iPhone SE. It’s frustrating that they’d stop selling adapters for devices they’ll happily sell you. But, again, it’s no reason to buy a new pair of wireless headphones, or to choose the more expensive USB-C iPhone.

Lightning to 3.5mm adapters are everywhere

Just because Apple won’t sell you one of these adapters, doesn’t mean you’re SOL. A quick search on Amazon for “Lightning to 3.5mm” returns over 1,000 results—including Apple’s own adapter. As of this piece, it’s still in stock, albeit $16.94. That’s quite a bit more expensive than the original $9 price tag, but it’s still much cheaper than buying yourself a pair of AirPods, or a new iPhone, for that matter.

If Amazon runs out of stock, too, or if you’re looking for alternatives, you have your pick of the lot. Now, some of these are going to be better than others, but UGREEN seems to have a good Apple MFi-certified option for $14.99. If you hate not being able to charge your iPhone while listening to music with the adapter, this $29.74 option from Belkin lets you do both at the same time (as long as you don’t mind the added bulk here).

You can fuss over a turkey in a million different ways, but I don’t. With all due respect to the delicious turkey recipes and clever turkey-cooking techniques we have featured on this site over the years, I make our family bird every year by doing as little as possible, and I always get compliments on how pretty it looks and how good it tastes.

In this post, I’m going to walk you through the process. Follow these instructions, and you’ll have a basic bird that comes out with juicy meat and crispy skin, while allowing you plenty of time to either relax or make extra side dishes—whichever suits your personality.

What you need to buy

First, the turkey. Aim for 1.5 pounds of turkey (raw weight) for each person on your guest list. Remember, the turkey you buy includes bones and giblets, so that’s not 1.5 pounds of meat. If you’re expecting 12 people, a 12-pound turkey will just barely feed them, while a 24-pound turkey will give you lots of leftovers. An 18-pounder (12 people times 1.5 pounds) provides generous helpings and is arguably the ideal size.

You may notice, when you go to the turkey store, that turkeys come in two sizes. The hens are small, often 10 or 12 pounds. And the toms are big, often 20 or more. So you may have to go with a smaller or larger turkey than would be ideal. Make up for a small turkey by asking people to bring plenty of side dishes; deal with a large one by sending everyone home with leftovers.

Other things you will need to roast a basic turkey:

• A thermometer, ideally an instant-read digital thermometer like this one. This isn’t going to break the bank, and you will get plenty of use out of it, so don’t skip this item. You need it.

• Some kind of pan to roast it in. A deep roasting pan is traditional, but you can also use a wire rack in a rimmed baking sheet. Personally, I use a roasting pan minus the lid.

• Aluminum foil, to protect the bird’s skin if it starts browning too fast.

• Butter, to smear all over the turkey. Get two sticks of butter unless your bird is a very small one.

• Herbs and seasonings of your choice, to mix in with the butter. I like to throw some onions and celery into the bottom of the roasting pan as well.

• Optional: a ladle or turkey baster, not to baste the turkey (we won’t), but to retrieve drippings for gravy.

One week ahead of time: Make a plan to defrost your turkey

If you bought your turkey frozen, you’ll need to start thawing it well in advance of the big day. Put your turkey in the refrigerator for one day for every 4-5 pounds. Expect a 12-pound turkey to take about three days to thaw; a 20-pound turkey, five days.

On Thanksgiving morning, check on the turkey bright and early. If it’s still frozen, don’t panic. You have two options:

1. A cold-water thaw, changing out the water every 30 minutes. To do this, place the entire turkey, still in its plastic wrap, into your kitchen sink or another suitable large container (even a bathtub). Expect this to take 30 minutes per pound.

2. Roast it anyway. It’s fine to roast a frozen turkey, but it will take up to 50% longer. That means if you were expecting to roast your bird for four hours, and it’s fully frozen, expect it to take six. If it’s mostly thawed, it will take longer than four hours but less than six.

Optional but recommended: Make a compound butter the day before

Sometime in the couple of days leading up to your big feast, make a compound butter. What to put in it is up to you, but you’ll be glad you made it. Here’s how:

1. Take your two sticks of butter out of the fridge to soften.

2. When soft, use a spoon to smash in some chopped garlic, dried herbs, fresh herbs if you have any (chives are great), or even just a plain ol’ poultry seasoning blend from the grocery store. Want to get fancy? We have flavor ideas here.

3. Put the lump of soft, flavorful butter into a baggie (you can kind of shape it into a log) and toss it in the fridge until Thanksgiving morning.

Once the butter has softened, it takes all of five minutes to mash it together with the herbs, and you’ll look like some kind of gourmet chef when you tell people you rubbed the turkey with a handmade compound butter. Not sure which herbs to go with? Hum Simon and Garfunkel as you raid the spice rack: “Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme…”

If somehow you forget this step, your turkey will be okay with just plain butter. (If I may tell you a secret: It will also be basically okay without the butter.) I like making the compound butter because it gives me something to do the night before, and I can put a child on this detail if they are looking for a way to “help.”

How long does it take a turkey to cook?

There are differences of opinion in what works best, so just know that if you are comparing times across turkey-cooking charts, make sure you’re looking at the numbers for a whole turkey (not a breast or other parts) and that you want it unstuffed.

We will not be stuffing today’s turkey. You can make a pan of stuffing separately, if you like. Or, better yet, assign somebody else to make it in their oven and bring it over while it’s still hot.

Here are the times recommended by the USDA for a turkey cooked without stuffing in a 325°F oven:

• 8 to 12 pounds: 2:45 to 3 hours

• 12 to 14 pounds: 3 to 3:45

• 14 to 18 pounds: 3:45 to 4:15

• 18 to 20 pounds: 4:15 to 4:30

• 20 to 24 pounds: 4:30 to 5 hours

Work backwards from the cooking time to determine when to put the turkey in the oven. Here’s the formula:

Cooking time PLUS 30 minutes’ resting time = total time between when it goes into the oven and when you can serve dinner.

Remember that it will take some time to get everything out of the fridge and prepped for the oven—I’d budget at least 30 minutes for that.

So if you have a 20 pound bird and want to eat at 4 p.m., you will need about four and a half hours for cooking, plus half an hour on either end for prep and resting. That’s five and a half hours total, which means we’ll want to be buttering our turkey at 10:30 a.m. and it should be in the oven by 11 at the latest.

We might aim to get it in a smidge earlier to be safe, say 10:45 a.m. If you have to choose, it’s better to have the bird ready a little bit early (it can just rest a little longer) than to keep hungry guests waiting.

How to prepare a turkey for the oven

On Thanksgiving morning, before you start getting everything ready, take your turkey out of the fridge. Also take the compound butter out of the fridge to soften. The following steps will go a lot better if everything has had a chance to warm up for half an hour or so before you start.

First, get yourself a nice clear space to work in. You do not need to rinse the turkey. You do want to avoid splattering raw turkey juices all over the place. This often means opening the turkey in a clean sink and transferring it to a roasting pan right next to the sink. Then you carefully throw out the wrappings and wash your hands.

Your turkey will probably come packaged with a little plastic bag of giblets, and probably also a neck. If you don’t find these inside the big cavity at the bottom of the turkey, go ahead and stick your hand in the top (you’ll have to lift up the neck skin, which tends to drape over the neck opening).

Then we assemble our roasting pan:

1. Optional: Place stalks of celery, carrots, and a quartered onion or two at the bottom of the pan.

2. Not optional: Place the turkey in the pan, breast side up, legs not trussed or tied or bound together in any way. Let them fly free. The turkey will take so much longer to cook if the legs are bound. Note that sometimes the turkey will come with the legs tucked into a strap of skin near the tail, so if your turkey looks like it’s sitting criss-cross applesauce, make sure to free them.

3. Optional: Place the giblets and neck in the pan, next to the turkey or in the body cavity. They’ll add flavor to the gravy. (Take the giblets out of the bag, of course.)

4. Technically optional but highly recommended: Smear the softened butter all over the turkey, ideally the compound butter you made last night. If you don’t have that handy, regular butter will do. If you forgot to soften it, it’s OK to melt it in th e microwave and brush it on. And if you don’t even have any butter, at the very least sprinkle some salt and pepper or poultry seasoning all over.

I like to smear the butter over the breast skin and legs, and then I’ll make a pocket under the breast and stuff any extra butter in there. Or you can just put the lump of extra butter in the cavity. (Do not save it for the table. It’s got raw turkey germs on it now.)

Finally, if you have a leave-in thermometer of any sort (such as a wired thermometer or a bluetooth thermometer), stick that in the breast, as deep as you can go without touching bone. This is for monitoring the bird as it cooks. When time is up, you’ll use your instant-read thermometer in several places to confirm the bird is done. And if that bird has a pop-up thermometer button? Take that sucker out and throw it in the garbage.

What to do while the turkey is in the oven

This is the easiest part. Once the bird is in the oven, you do nothing. After a few hours, take a peek to see how the skin is browning. If it gets crispy and dark before the bird is anywhere near done, “tent” it with foil (meaning you put a piece of foil loosely over the breast).

To facilitate my doing of nothing, I like to use a bluetooth thermometer so I can monitor the temperature from the couch in the living room. People will say “shouldn’t you be watching the turkey?” and I’ll look at my phone and tell them it’s on track to be done by 4.

What about basting?

I do not baste it. Basting is overrated. I let the oven and the butter do their work. If the pan seems dry mid-cooking, I’ll add half a cup of water just to make sure there will be enough liquid to collect drippings for gravy. But that’s adding water to the pan, not drizzling it over the bird. You don’t need to, I promise. And the skin comes out crispier if you don’t.

While the bird is cooking, I strongly recommend doing some organizational work. Make a checklist of every dish you plan to bring out to the table, and begin working on anything that can be done ahead of time. If somebody wanders into the kitchen and asks if they can help, give them a job.

While you’re at it, make a to-do list for those hectic 30 minutes after the turkey leaves the oven and before everybody sits down to eat. Maybe during that time you’ll be making a gravy, or warming up a side dish in the oven. Get everything ready so things can go smoothly when the time comes.

How to know when a turkey is done

A turkey is done when you can insert an instant-read thermometer into the breast, the innermost part of the thigh, and the innermost part of the wing, and all of those locations read at least 165°F. (The temperature will continue to rise as the bird rests, so it’s OK to take it out when it’s a few degrees shy of the target, but I don’t want to overcomplicate this. If you want a simple rule, 165 is the number you’re looking for.)

Again: Ignore the pop-up thermometer. Pop-up thermometers are designed to pop at about 180 degrees, which means your breast meat may be very dry and firm. Some people like that texture; that’s why the device was designed that way. (Many people do not.) Your choice of doneness is up to you, but for food safety reasons, you only need the meat to hit 165 degrees.

Pop-up thermometers also aren’t consistent; occasionally you’ll get one that pops before the turkey is done. And you’ll want to check that the turkey is cooked everywhere, not just in one spot on the breast. Don’t trust that button at all.

Let the turkey rest

Once the turkey is done, you take it out of the oven and let it “rest” before you attempt to carve it. The USDA recommends letting a bird rest for 15 to 20 minutes; many cooks prefer 30 minutes or more. I’ve seen recommendations to let a bird rest for hours, which I cannot endorse. I’d budget 30 minutes.

Why not hours? Once the bird’s internal temperature drops to about 140°F—which will normally happen during carving—the bird should be eaten and leftovers put in the fridge within two hours. If you really want to push it, three or four hours is technically acceptable, but that four-hour mark is a hard stop, OK? People could get sick.

During the turkey’s resting time, you can make a gravy, either from scratch or by adding pan drippings to a store-bought or made-ahead gravy starter. We have a basic gravy recipe here: It’s just roux (a mix of flour and butter) combined with a flavorful liquid such as stock or the watery (bottom) layer of your pan drippings. The only time I use a turkey baster is to suck up that bottom layer of drippings and squirt them into the pan of gravy.

Otherwise, your job as the Roaster of the Turkey is done. Make sure to get a photo of your beautiful turkey, and assign someone else to carve it. Refer to your checklist to be sure that everybody’s side dishes make it to the table, and you’ll look like some kind of hero who just pulled off the hardest job of the holiday.

Everyone watched the Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul “fight,” but the young people you’d think would be pulling for “their” guy didn’t seem evident online or in person. The fight was a bucket of ice water dumped on everyone’s head, but it taught young people an important lesson: Someday, they too will be diminished by time, sustained by memories, and getting smacked around the ring by some punk.

The Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul fight/disaster

Friday night’s fight between boxing great Mike Tyson and YouTube star Jake Paul is in the history books, and the general consensus is it was a nightmare. Here’s a recap if you were lucky enough to have missed it because your Netflix was buffering: A wizened Tyson doddered into the ring and boxed for a couple rounds where he didn’t look that terrible, but by round three, Iron Mike was gassed, winded, and useless. Showing admirable restraint, Jake Paul didn’t punch Tyson’s head off, treating the old lion gingerly for the remaining six rounds of tepid combat. The judges gave the match to Paul in a unanimous decision, and we all went to bed feeling sad.

Just about everyone, in the crowd in Dallas and online, seemed to have wanted Tyson to beat Paul’s brakes off. He was probably the greatest boxer of all time in his prime and we’d like to see him shine just once more. More importantly, though: While Jake Paul is household-name famous, people don’t seem to like him very much.

After the fight, people wanted Tyson to have won so much, they invented conspiracy theories. They’re alleging that the match was scripted. They’re poring over fight footage for proof that Tyson was pulling punches, or that Paul’s tongue-waggling was a signal for Tyson to take it easy, or they’re placing the fight within a larger conspiracy theory involving the Illuminati and Freemasons. But in reality, the fight might have been “rigged” in that neither fighter was going to kill the other over a circus match paycheck, but even though the fight was light sparring, it was obvious that Jake Paul isn’t a real boxer and that Mike Tyson isn’t either anymore. It was proof that the all-time champion of boxing and every other sport is Time, and Time is undefeated.

Viral video of the week: Mike Tyson butt reveal

There was one good thing that came out of Tyson v. Paul: a hilarious video of Mike Tyson’s butt. During a pre-fight interview with his son, the champ predicts a “vicious win,” then walks away from the camera revealing he’s only wearing a jockstrap. The comic timing is unassailable. The clip has been viewed over 31 million times. Check it out yourself:

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What does “cake” mean?

At 58 years old, Iron Mike Tyson looks fantastic, and you might react to the viral clip of his hinder by saying, “lookit that cake!” The slang meaning of the word “cake” is a nice-looking butt.

What do “huzz” and “bruzz” mean?

The words “huzz” and “bruzz” have been taking over TikTok over the last few weeks. Huzz is a stylized way of saying “hoes.” It was popularized by 22-year-old streamer Kai Cenat, who also brought us “Gyatt.” Cenat uses catchphrases like “anything for the huzz” on his streams. Like most current slang, it really comes from African-American vernacular English.

Huzz quickly gave birth to “bruzz,” which means “bros.” That, in turn, gave birth to a whole “-uzz” school of slang words. You could say your grandma is your gruzz, freshmen are fruzz, your mom is your muzz and your dad is your duzz. It’s actually kind of fun, in a brain-rot way.

What does “yunc” mean?

The final entry in my slang-trifecta is the word “yunc.” In Lifehacker’s overview of youth slang, “unc” is defined as a slightly older person. It’s short for “uncle.” Yunc is a variation. In AAVE, a “yn” is a “young n-word.” So “yunc” means something like “young uncle,” or a person who may be young but has uncle vibes or unc status.

The rise of the “type-B wife” on TikTok

You might be aware of the “tradwife” movement, where young women are asking themselves, “why don’t we all just get back in the kitchen?” But every action has a reaction. In this case, the reaction is the rise of the “type-B wife.”

Where type-A, tradwife spouses post TikTok videos showcasing their superiority at domestic tasks, type-B wives are more chill and post videos demonstrating the disorderly reality of domestic life. These are the young wives who don’t fold laundry and who sneak a Marlboro Light after school drop-off.

Young women defining themselves by which type of wife they are could be seen as problematic in itself, but on the other hand, people are going to talk about the roles they fill, and younger people embracing a type-B lifestyle is a satisfying response to the hustle culture and perfectionism trend that’s so often seen on social media.

Is streaming harder than a 9 to 5 job?

Type A vs type B isn’t the only conflict on the internet this week. The online world is also deep in debate over the issue of whether supporting yourself as a streamer is as hard as having a 9 to 5 job.

The argument started when FaZe Clan member (“Faze Clan” is a competitive gaming group) and Twitch streamer Plaqueboymax said, on his stream, “Being a streamer, or any face on the internet, is harder than a 9-5 in certain ways because it fucks you up mentally.”

The responses from anonymous people in comment sections were fiery. “Go to a McDonald’s drive through with your Lamborghini and tell them that your job is harder than theirs,” one commenter suggested. But others took a more even-handed position, pointing out that streamers spend a lot of time playing games online, there’s a ton of pressure to compete in a competitive market, and that playing games with the intention of making money from people watching you is a way different thing than playing a game because it’s fun.

This all feels to me like a modern-day discussion of the perils of fame. Plaqueboymax’s point is more nuanced than many people are taking it. He doesn’t say that one type of job is easier than another, but that being a publicly known face comes with difficulties that being a wage slave does not. As much as it seems that streamers/movie stars have ideal lives, fame and money really do have downsides that mortals never have to deal with. While almost anyone would choose “rich and famous” over “poor and nameless,” no one’s life is free of nightmares; they just change shape depending on your station.