Planet Karen

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Planet Karen

FICTION

Planet M-121a was once a bustling hub of technology and progress. The citizens, mostly made up of factory workers and engineers, lived and breathed the revolution of the engines on their world’s tidally locked far side. The engines, they believed, were the key to their survival.

Because they were, literally, as the engines provided thrust on a mega engineering, planetwide scale in keeping Planet M-121a from crashing into the gas giant planet MGP-121.

But when the new president, Karen, came to power, she/he/they declared that the engines were not necessary. Patty, a gender-fluid egotist who lived with narcolepsy, saw the engines as symbols of oppression and promised a new era of progress without them. The engines were removed, and for a time, it seemed as though Karen was right.

But it wasn’t long before the effects of their removal became apparent. Tidal waves began to crash onto the shores, causing destruction and loss of life. People began to panic, and yet Karen refused to listen. She/He/They believed that the people of Planet M-121a could overcome any obstacle without the crutch of the engines.

The situation grew more dire with each passing day. The people cried out for help, but Karen was too consumed by their own stubbornness to hear their pleas. It wasn’t until the planet was hurtling toward the gas giant MGP-121 that the truth dawned on them. “What have I done?” Karen whispered as she/he/they gazed out at the approaching planet. The people of MGP-121a, once so full of hope and pride, were now dying, their world about to be totally destroyed by the very leadership of Karen.

“It was our destiny,” Karen said to the masses, “to crash into MGP-121, to be consumed by the very thing we sought to escape.” As the final moments ticked away, Karen lay down on the ground, exhausted both physically and mentally by the weight of their choices. They closed their eyes, embracing the end that was to come.

But then, a miracle occurred. The engines, long abandoned, sprang to life, the power of the tidal forces they harnessed providing the push needed to steer the planet away from certain destruction. The engines, decried and vilified as symbols of oppression, were now the method of survival. The people cheered, tears streaming down their faces, as they watched their world veer away from MGP-121.

Karen stood up, looking out at the engines as they burned brightly against the crushing weight of the gas giant, pushing them toward the void of space. They realized that it was not their vision of progress that had saved them, but the determination and strength of the people of Planet M-121a.

“We must never forget,” Karen declared, “that our true power lies in the unity and resilience of our people.”

To which a child hollered back, “Or we just don’t do stupid things!”

And so, the people of Planet M-121a began the long journey to a brighter future, their engines guiding them toward hope and progress. They would always remember the tragedy that had almost been their end, but they would also never forget the words of the child.

Planet Karen
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